Charity? Oh, Please.

There is no easy way to say this, so I will just come out with it. I hate being treated like someone's charity. It is the one thing that can actually get under my skin--the feeling that someone is just interacting with me so that they can get that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from doing something for someone else. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not against charity in general, just the feeling of being used as someone's penance. I actually enjoy doing my part to help out others but there is a great distinction to be made between what I do as a volunteer and what others want to do for me: I don't accept the help offered. I also do not cross the line to assume that the person I am aiding would otherwise be helpless without me.

I remember being young and my parents fighting with people who saw me and wanted to give me things or help me. My parents, however were (and are), of the firm belief that I can do for myself if given the chance, and if for some reason they were not around, I would need to be able to help myself. Needless to say my parents didn't usually have the time to explain all of this and would generally be called names I care not to repeat.

I tell you all of this to say: if there is one thing you do before helping someone, check that they actually want your assistance. It will help spare the feelings of both of you in the end.