Charity? Oh, Please.

There is no easy way to say this, so I will just come out with it. I hate being treated like someone's charity. It is the one thing that can actually get under my skin--the feeling that someone is just interacting with me so that they can get that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from doing something for someone else. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not against charity in general, just the feeling of being used as someone's penance. I actually enjoy doing my part to help out others but there is a great distinction to be made between what I do as a volunteer and what others want to do for me: I don't accept the help offered. I also do not cross the line to assume that the person I am aiding would otherwise be helpless without me.

I remember being young and my parents fighting with people who saw me and wanted to give me things or help me. My parents, however were (and are), of the firm belief that I can do for myself if given the chance, and if for some reason they were not around, I would need to be able to help myself. Needless to say my parents didn't usually have the time to explain all of this and would generally be called names I care not to repeat.

I tell you all of this to say: if there is one thing you do before helping someone, check that they actually want your assistance. It will help spare the feelings of both of you in the end.

The "Falling" Problem

Everyone knows that fall has nestled itself in our backyards. most people gawk and stare at the pretty colors and take pictures of of trees they've never seen before. However fall is something completely different for people like me. Generally the change in season marks higher risk for injury and elevated awareness for some of the silly things people do. I'm not saying not to enjoy fall, but be careful. When it rains this season please, for the love of God, wipe your feet. that is what those fancy carpets are for in front of the doors. They are not decorations, the have a use. Generally when I'm asked about the problems I face at college as a disabled student I say this: " it is not outside, but inside that is the concern." when the weather gets bad people fail to realize what they track inside. They kick up leaves, create mud puddles, and generally make it difficult to move around inside. It is like walking through a maze except if I go off the beaten path I will face plant in the mess you just created. so I beg of you, be mindful of me. I would rather not be known as the girl who got a black eye from the floor.

Je Regrette!

I am so sorry, my dear friends, for not having posted anything in a while, I plan to rectify that situation immediately. As this blog grows, I would like to incorporate different perspectives of people with disabilities from around my community and eventually from around the world. Here is the first one. Enjoy!

Name: Matthew Curcio
Hometown: St. Davids, PA (I consider EU my hometown for now)
Age: 19
Disability: Muscular Dystrophy

Occupation: I am a young collegian
Hobbies: I write. I read. I created Eastern University's Radio Station.

What is it like to have a disability where you live?

Well, not easy. Living an independent College lifestyle and trying to balance relationships, hobbies, class work and having a disability is just a struggle. It is just an added aspect of life I have to deal with. It is pretty rough some days but I have maybe the most beautiful support system at this college =]

What types of difficulties do you face?

I have a disability that affects my whole body. So every one of my muscles are much weaker than that of others. I use a scooter to get to classes, I fall sometimes, I need help up somedays, I experience pain through out my body fairly often. My disability effects me in the classroom, in the dorm...actually in every capacity. It is a huge chunk of the person I am. But I am okay with that.

What words of wisdom would you like my readers to have?

Learn this about individuals with disabilities...Sure it may be cool to look up to someone with a disability because they seem strong to you in living with a disability. That is fine and okay. But DO NOT overlook the fact that a disability (especially for those who have been disabled from birth) is a NORM in that persons life. For me it is all I know. I do have a strong heart and resolve but this is my reality and my day to day. I am surely as much of a person as anyone else. It is also very important to note that when developing a relationship with a disabled individual do not forget to look beyond their disability and look for other aspects in their life where they may be struggling or hurting. A disability does not encompass the whole.

What is the dumbest thing someone ever said or done to you/what was your response?

Hahahaha what I great question...One time I fell on a family vacation...I was just walking and I tripped over an exposed pipe on a sidewalk. Several bystanders ran to my rescue. One exclaim...HE MAY HAVE A BLOOD-CLOT! MAYBE IT WAS A HEAT STROKE?....I sat on my butt and I laughed audibly. I said I was okay and I got back up with the help of my parents. My day just continued like nothing ever happened.